I think this is a web meme going around and I’ll just pretend I’ve been tagged and will give my tips for a wife/girlfriend celebration:
1 – Don’t always do them. If you remember every single event, then it’ll become expected and taken for granted. Miss one every now and then, or at least, mess one up occasionally – do this on purpose, so that when you do actually miss one it won’t be the end of the world. Just par for the course. Yeah, I’m sure you’re thinking that your perfect record up to this point in time would count for something. But it won’t. So do yourself a favor, don’t set the bar so high for yourself.
2 – Realize that everyone has different understandings for basic words. Not everyone thinks that “most” is “more than 50%” or that “often” is “more than 50%” or that “always” is “100%” – surprisingly so. People don’t have the same understandings of these words and use them differently often (how often is often?) So if she says she wants “nothing” that doesn’t mean “not a single thing”. Likewise, if you ask her where she wants to eat and she says “anywhere”, that doesn’t mean “any place is fine, we can decide together when the time comes, because I’m more particular about food and when the time comes I might have a different craving than I do at this moment”, but it means “you better pick someplace special that I’m going to like at that moment in time in the future”. Language ain’t easy. Envy children who have yet to bear the burden of communication.
3 – The thought doesn’t count. Or more specifically – your thought doesn’t count. Our thoughts are generally simple and to the point. Those don’t count. I’ve been blasted for getting a box of chocolates for Valentine’s day. What – how can that be? It’s thoughtless. Cause she doesn’t like “heart shapes” and doesn’t like “chocolates” so no credit for the thought there. Oh – she didn’t want to win the Z4 (sweepstakes entry included in the box from Godiva) either. I can understand that one – there’s something wrong with BMW drivers. Still, there was a though – “Can’t go wrong with chocolates on Valentine’s day” and it did not count.
4 – Don’t expect the same in return. This isn’t a contest. Or a game. Not like any we’re used to at least. There is no keeping score. There is no winner. There are only “those that get to go on to the next round”. Do not argue “Well, you didn’t do anything for me last [insert event here]” because that will be followed on with a volley of things that have been done. There is no way you’ll have enough ammunition for that battle. Accept that the game/rules are only applied one way and it’s not your way. (If you want it your way, goto Burger King. Get a Texas Double Whopper. They are pretty good.) To avoid setting the bar too high – refer to point 1.
5 – Don’t admit to following any of these rules. And never talk about fight club.