That’s a line Luke uses – that I’ve wanted a reason to use. Now I have it.
We put Sal to sleep at around 9:30. Catherine stayed with him. I went to try the tables at Bally’s – haven’t done much gambling at Bally’s over the last few years. Or ever really. I remember buying a – I mean – getting a t-shirt along with our $20 parlay the first trip out with Ian 11 years ago or so. But that’s about as far as my Bally’s gaming memories go.
So hit the craps table. Not crowded, mid-week stuff I suppose. Buy in for 300, I get the dice pretty quickly, which isn’t a good sign. But at least, I’m qualified to roll.
Set the dice with the “crossed 2’s”. When the 2’s are crossed, they kind of look like an arrow – I like that look. Started rolling. Is a pretty good roll. Started hitting the 4 actually – doing the normal progression of 10, 25, 75, 150, 300, 600, 1000. At 1000 things always get interesting. I get cocky. I start looking at table limits. Min 5, Max 5,000. Just a couple of rolls away.
Which seemed like it took forever. I was starting to sweat a bit. Were they turning up the heat? Drinks were coming slower. Payouts were happening slower. All more time for superstitions to creep into my head. But I kept my head empty. Just seeing the crossed 2’s. Watching them float across the table and tumble. Some random numbers. Possibly a point. But then another 4. 2k. More random numbers and another 4. 4k.
At 4k – when you hit the number, you get paid 8k. Costs you 200 bucks. But you get 8k back. The mix of chips in my rack was starting to change. No longer dominated by red and green. It was getting more diverse. Anyway – when you go from 4-5k. It’s kind of anti-climatic. Everything’s been doubling. All so you can press it 25% now?
I asked if I could go higher. They said no. I said I thought all casinos took any bet – not just Binions. They said I should have started this roll at Binions. Fair enough. What was less fair was the shift change…like 45 minutes early. I tipped out the crew before they left – they gave me their best wishes of course. So, out go the fairly friendly dealers. In come the old surly ones. But tonight it doesn’t matter to me for some reason. The Binions line make it clear – we’re here for business, not pleasure. Me too.
Take your time giving me the crossed 2’s. I’ll handle it. I’ll handle the barbs about setting dice. About slow play. Bring on your coolers. Swap out the cocktail waitress. Bring on the don’t betters, rooting for their 7s. Baby doesn’t need new shoes (he’s got rather nice Pediped’s…) but baby might need to goto private school!
100 on the 4 for the dealers, I control. We’ll see if we can buy the new guys.
I hit a couple more 4’s. 250 vig on 10k coming in. 10k. Each roll had that kind of potential. I wasn’t as nervous as I thought I’d be. And I’ve thought of this moment a lot. It was more just general excitement. I didn’t even mind the high 5’s that much this time around. Usually – I don’t like touching the other customers…but things just kept on looking better and better.
Then, I couldn’t believe it – they actually brought in William Macy. He was the cooler in the movie The Cooler. Like that could even stop me now. I chatted it up with him. Complimented him on his wife, Felicity. How my wife liked her interview on 60 minutes. Then I told him I really liked him in A Very Muppet Christmas and Glengarry Glen Ross. I knew he wasn’t in Glengarry Glen Ross. I just wanted to mess with his head a bit – to cool off The Cooler. He was gracious. Who you gonna bring next?
Since they were upping their game a notch, I wanted to up my game a notch. During a slow payout as I was downing more water, it hit me – I couldn’t put 1k on the come line cause I didn’t want to bet 1k on everything (yet)…but you can increase your come bet after it’s made. So I went with a $25 come bet.
4-2. Okay – max odds on the come bet. Press the place bet. Another $25 come bet. Rolled an 8 or 9. Then another 6. Off-and-on…then I got to experiment.
1-3. Tossed out 300 to get 10050 back. And I got a new come bet on the 4. I asked if I could raise the come bet. They said we might as well try it. Okay. 1k with 3k odds. So now I had 9k on the 4…
Took a couple more rolls…but it came along. Was paid out. But forgot my come bet. So I was just off. Man. Stupid. Too many distractions. Did I mention I was sweating? Another come bet, then we take everything up. Tell me I was caught up in the moment. The excitement. But it sure felt cool bumping my come bet up to 2k with 6k odds. Kept the come bet on the table this time. Off and ons around as I rolled numbers. Even numbers. Then the 4. Let’s press it again. 4k with 12k odds and I even got 6k in change…not a bad deal.
I had to ask for a towel. So maybe I didn’t feel nervous, but I sure was looking like it. I’d like to think I looked more like a Shaq or Wade at the free throw line. A professional, doing their job, just sweating a bit while doing it. But we know I probably didn’t. I mean, there’s 26k on the table and I’ve got the dice. I get some lame security towel. The type they put over chips when you leave for the bathroom. Whatever. Just makes me more motivated.
Hit the 4 again. Let’s go to the max with max odds. 30 thousand dollars on the 4 in various forms. Let’s go back to that Shaq analogy. Game 3. Heat trying to come back. Shaq hits two clutch free throws. I’m here. 30k on the 4. The little deuce-deuce waiting for me. 3-1. Perfect. Trembling as they go through the motions. Come bets paid first – 45k.
My rack had been completely transformed. Red, green and black look out of place. Pink, yellow, purple, brown…wait – those are names that commoners would use. Rose, banana creme, fuchsia and chocolate…that was the neighborhood I was in now. To pay the vig on the place bet of mine and for the dealers, I had to break a 5k chip. Not cause it was my only chip. But because it was my smallest chip. Amazing.
The table had gotten pretty crowded, but somehow this lady got her way up to the front of the table where my dice were landing. I don’t even know how to describe what she was wearing…barely is probably the best word. Don’t look. Then figure that’s taking me out of my game. So then, don’t not look. Sigh. Just roll the dice.
Yes. See. There. I can still roll some 4’s! During my next roll, she blows a kiss while the dice are in the air. I catch it out of the corner of my eye as I’m tracking the dice in the air. What’s she blowing a kiss for? I’ve got a wife and kid upstairs. One die stops – 2. The other die is bouncing around, spinning…spinning…5. Oh. That’s why she’s blowing the kiss. They had brought in the big guns – the hottest cooler.
So it was over. I was tired and sweaty. Even though I drank probably two dozen bottles of water, I probably lost 5-8 pounds. I had become smarter. My posture improved. My vocabulary had grown. I was funnier. And possibly even better looking all of a sudden…what a roll.
I’m not used to counting chips of this demonation and I was pretty dazed anyway. It was in the neighborhood of 173k and change. I left the 3k and change for the team. Maybe they’ll complain, but we were betting throughout. Their bet was up to 1k by the end. And they were the coolers. The 170 number was good. Fun. And not too big to get me in trouble like Rick…
So – this is currently just a work of fiction. But as we goto Vegas next week and since Chapo woke me up barking at raccoons or something in the backyard and I can’t go back to sleep – I figured I’d write this entry now. And then next week, I could just say:
Hey, remember that roll? It happened.