Oct 112005
 

…people are robust.

Or life’s ironic. Or at least has a dark sense of humor.

And unstoppable.

Carlin has a routine – maybe he wasn’t the first, but he was who I heard it from. About how the “save the whales” or “save the earth” campaigns weren’t about the earth or the whales. But about humans. How we need to save the planet for us. Cause really – once we pollute the environment enough and/or have a thermonuclear war with fallout and 20 year long winters, the earth (and possibly the whales) will still be around – just we won’t be.? I wrote a paper around that idea in college – got a D. The paper was good – just fundamentally opposed to what the TA said the topic would be. Plus that was the class we were taking pass/fail, with a bet on who could come closer to failing, yet still pass. And I was taking that competition seriously.

Besides, that was the class that Catherine tutored me in. If it wasn’t for that D, where would we be now? (She might vouch for the legitimacy of that paper. She might also be biased. If she knows what’s good for her…)

So anyway, though I know not how to console so good, I know things go on and can get better. Last night was rough and complicated and dizzied the mind and drained it. Trying to imagine the unimaginable. Not easy. Not fun. Not a luxury for all.

Tonight was different. Ian‘s a superstar (he should relax more, he’s golden now…) and went to the dinner tonight to prove it. So Catherine and Sal and Zoe and I went out to our own dinner. [You’d think the superstar would give his daughter enough money for dinner, but he didn’t. So we went dutch at McD’s and she had to pretend she likes meat. Such is life with the Barays. Zoe’s currently denying the desire for a MEATNORMOUS tomorrow morning – but I’m not worried.]

Zoe’s a special gal – and early on it became clear to me that she’s special for me in a particular way – she’s someone who I have memories of that she doesn’t. I haven’t hung out around many young kids. And so it was fun to think back about how she used to abuse my place at Indiana. Bringing in the little sweeper after using it to clean up the parking lot – and letting all that loose gravel out on my floor. Or fancying up my sink with her easter egg coloring kit. Or dropping by for change, cause, who would have guessed it?? I lived just a couple of doors down from the vending machines.

Now, she’s finished kicking our butt in Set.? And I’ve discovered I’m a little color blind. And shape blind. But I’m confident that I can compensate, given some time. Plus, Zoe? says there’s an online version of Set somewhere…silly search engines. So easy to find stuff! (Actually, Seth has an interesting paper? on how they aren’t…but that’s way off topic. It has nothing to do with my getting better at Set.)

Still, I couldn’t help but be amazed by the transformation – we used to go snowboarding at Paoli Peaks and we’d spend more time in the car and in the bar than on the hill – and now she’s doing all sorts of tricks with cosines…sure, it’s a fact of life but one I never really appreciated, cause I was too caught up in my own head. Perspective. Point of view.

Like I always thought it was silly when my dad would shake my hand as I was growing up and always comment on how it was getting bigger. Yeah – of course it is. I’m a kid – I grow. But now – I’m already doing that with Salvador. Like a switch was flipped. Now I’m the idiot stating the obvious.

Sal will be fun. Yet others were robbed of their daughter yesterday. And I can’t balance the different feelings – I only seem to mush them together. Blend them. Know that we’ll all go on, regardless. And that all I can do is try and help where I can.

Sometimes I need to be reminded of the obvious.

“Set!”

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